by Tina ૐ Sadhwani
Love is a conscious death, not of the body but of the ego. The ego has been dominating you for many births, for many lives. Its domination has become almost permanent. Love is the only experience that can dethrone it.
If in love you cannot lose your ego, then you can never lose it. And you are not the ego, remember; it is a false idea of yourself, accepted and acquired in ignorance. In love you need humbleness, in love a trust arises on its own. The person you love, you can expose yourself to in total vulnerability. But you don’t know that with love this shadow is always there, that it is a kind of death.
Particularly your personality feels immensely troubled that you are in such deep love.
It is absolutely natural for every person who loves to feel fear, because he does not know that love is nothing but a graveyard for your ego, and because you are identified with the ego you think it is going to be your death.
All this may not be on the conscious level; it may be going on underneath, in the darkness, in the unconscious part of your psychology.
So the first thing is to understand exactly that love is death of the ego, the personality, the false. There is no way to have both, love and ego. Either you can have the ego or you can have love — but make it a conscious thing.
Relationship means something that is complete, finished, closed.
Love is never a relationship; love is "relating". It is always a river, flowing, unending.
Love knows no full stop; the honeymoon begins but never ends.
It is not like a novel that starts at a certain point and ends at a certain point.
It is an ongoing phenomenon.
Lovers end, love continues.
It is a continuum.
It is a verb, not a noun.
And why do we reduce the beauty of relating to relationship?
Why are we in such a hurry?
-- because to relate is to be completely in the moment with no certainty and no security, whereas relationship is a security, it has a certainty.
Relating is just a meeting of two strangers, maybe just a one day connection and the next day we say goodbye.
Who knows what is going to happen tomorrow?
And we are so afraid that we want to make it certain, we want to make it predictable.
We would like tomorrow to be according to our ideas; we don't allow it freedom to have its own say.
So we immediately reduce the relating to relationship.